Each day, my heart skips a beat when I see my fish stationary. True enough, one of my tetra fish died on fateful wednesday! What a sorry sight it was.. Sunken, overturned and ghost-white, amidst the orange oxygen balls. Must have been 'cos of the water that was littered with fallen leaves from that wretched new plant. I was only one day late in changing the water.. The result of procrastination.
There has been much talk about the new film, Irreversible. The RA movie contains an explicit 10-minute rape scene and a shot of a man's head being bludgeoned by a fire extinguisher, among other brutal images. Totally gruesome man. Just the thought of it makes me cringe in my seat. Feel like watching it, just for the taste of it. But what if I'm not up to the challenge and end up puking or something? Anyway I read this article about how the film was left untouched by the censors 'cos they wanted to depict the 'harsh reality of real-life violence' and censoring it is to do what the person in the film did - he walked into the underpass, saw the rape and walked away. And I felt totally lousy when I thought about what I would have done if I were that passerby. Scuttle away in fear, then call the police? But really.. There's little else an unarmed girl can do in face of the burly rapist.
i was slacking at 8:47 PM
..And when I got her all alone
She told me through the tears
That she didn't really loved him
But he'd waited for so many years
She said she couldn't break his heart
She'd rather live with hers
And though I told her she should leave with me
She just could not believe with me..
i was slacking at 10:50 PM
Last night I hopped onto a time machine and found myself back in time,
back to the very day of your departure.
How surreal it was, the feeling of knowing what was to happen, yet standing there helpless.
How painful it was, to stand watching you, unable to warn you of what was to happen.
You once asked if I'd cry for you.
Those tears that fell, each and every one of them,
were but in loving memory of you,
my beloved.
i was slacking at 2:07 PM
i doubt anyone's interested to hear about my fish. nevertheless...
exactly 2 weeks with my fish and i think i know their character now. miss orangey tail (it's actually male.. just that i gave it a female name) is super docile and guai whereas mr nameless (the greyish one) is hyperactive! let's not talk about the neon fish - they're kinda like two-dimensional with no distinctive character traits. (don't misunderstand. i love and care for them too..) well miss orangey tail is the sort who's real easy to catch and even swims into the net willingly sometimes. mr nameless, on the other hand, dodges the net pretty darn well and it jumps so much when in the net i fear he'll jump to his death one of these days. oh btw, i think i've decided to call mr nameless asher. it's a name from the old testament and it means happy/happiness. pretty cool-sounding name i think...
a few nights ago someone told me about how it's actually possible to delude yourself into believing that you still like someone after a long long time (a few months, or even years perhaps) simply for the sake of continuity. or perhaps simply 'cos you've yet to find another 'bottle' to dump your love into? (as according to one of novalia's many relationship theories) and i think it's true indeed. given how transient and intangible our feelings are, how do we determine when we've ceased to like someone? or perhaps feelings never die and they merely fade into a glimmer with time? but that would mean that no one ever manages to get over their first love or ex-flame.. . .
i was slacking at 2:03 AM
bought a nice deep red plant (in conjunction with the lunar new year?) for my fish but i realised it's an inch too tall for the container.. oh well. will give the container a thorough clean-up tomorrow when i have more energy. can't believe i'm letting spring-cleaning for my fish take precedence over spring-cleaning for my room..
my uncle and aunt said i've put on A LOT of weight since they last saw me a few months ago. sigh. after cny i'm gonna try to start exercising to lose some weight. how i long for the clock to turn back to training days when i was fit and healthy with toned arms and seemingly unceasing energy. it's only been 1+ years since but i feel a decade older.
typed a entire chunk but the great numbers of grammatical and spelling errors made me realise i'm too tired to blog properly.. till then...
i was slacking at 12:53 AM
hello all
is this plain or is this plain? haha... oh well.. got tired of the tranquility one.. so here's something for the new year. i like the sparkles when you click the mouse.. and this is all black, like the deep thoughts one that novalia recommended. that was nice, but i figured that it wouldn't make much sense since i don't express any deep thoughts here. there's no space to put a tagboard though.. so bear with the extra work of clicking on the flooble icon above before you leave any comments. and the other bad thing is i have no idea where to put archives..
and i realised something today.. every single one of us has a look-a-like somewhere out there in the vast world, no matter how beautiful, gorgeous, ugly or queer you look. start keeping a look-out for yours today...
i was slacking at 11:40 PM
there you are.. my family's baptist - our good-looking pastor!!
and these are my guppies - the silverish one is the nameless one.
i was slacking at 2:45 PM
greetings from candice.esther.yong!
water baptism was great! too bad i don't use angel.fire so can't put up picts. then again, i looked kinda bad 'cos i was tired and sleepy (lotsa picts with closed or half-closed eyes) plus there's a pimple on my cheek and a scratch on my chin. you're not gonna believe it but clownish me scratched my chin while brushing my teeth a few days ago. THAT's how rough i am when brushing my teeth. no wonder my toothbrushes fray so quickly. maybe i oughta start brushing with my gentle (almost useless) left hand.
and i've finally gotten my fish!!! wasn't intending to buy any at all but my mum just decided to let me have some fun (i guess she was in a good mood today - we all were after baptism). or maybe she just got fed up watching me browse the fish shops so aimlessly and undecisively. it's a very very simple set-up. just a small rectangular glass container (i wouldn't dare call it a tank) with orange oxygen balls, a small plant and a couple of stones, housing 5 fishes - 2 guppies and 3 tetra neon fish. can't seem to remember the guppy breed now. but anyway i love them to bits for now!! both of them are male but i gave 1 of them a female name. the other one's nameless at the moment. as for the neon fish, well i can't differentiate between them so they'll just form the supporting cast for now.
okies off to sleep. gotta wake up at 6.15am tomorrow. how demoralising.. must pray for better timetables in future.
hope tiff has a perfectly smooth journey back to the states...
i was slacking at 11:15 PM
happy new year everyone!!! may 2004 overflow with exceedingly abundant blessings in all areas of our lives!
well, 1 glass of wine, 1 can of beer and 2 glasses of champagne and i still feel the same. in fact, i think i felt more sleepy before the countdown party. will try more next time...
back to king.of.torts before i finally doze off. i wish i were in clay.carter's shoes.. down and out lawyer trying to make ends meet and one fine day someone offers you a 10 million dollar deal. wow.
i was slacking at 1:19 AM
